Dementia: The Thief That Robs the Mind

"Do you ever try to remember something and you can not?" My husband Jim asked me this question today.  I knew it was more than just a normal memory loss moment.  Over the last year Jim has asked me this question more than once.

Jim told me this a few times, " I know there is something wrong with me." I saw the fear in his eyes and watched  the expression on his face as he thought about this. Jim knew something was wrong but did not know what it was.

I have began to know the questions Jim would ask as he could not remember many times something that would be important to talk about but could not remember at all where he wanted to go with the conversation.

Its more than "just a memory loss." Its' called Dementia or Alzheimer`s — a thief that robs one of the memories or thoughts they are trying so hard to express. Jim was a very bright man who worked a job where much responsibility was needed. Jim loved his job and did it very well. 

I started watching Jim`s memory being tested a few years ago as he would lose directions when traveling. Jim  always had perfect sense of direction. He would also misplace things more and more often. All clues as to what we face today but at that time not knowing it was dementia progressing. 

When you or someone you know is having memory problems DO NOT IGNORE this as "Oh, it's just a senior moment OR just a memory loss moment."

Today, as I watched Jim sleeping in his chair at the Oklahoma VA Alzheimer`s section, I cried. I thanked God that I was in the same room with my Jim. How I miss Jim and he misses me so much. 

I thought about the times we were together at home and the precious times we had together over the past almost 34 years. I thought about Jim never coming home again and us never living as husband and wife again. Many thought crossed my mind today. This has happened many times since Jim was admitted to the Alzheimer`s section at the VA. I would lie across the foot of Jim`s bed knowing he would sleep in his chair if he could see me there with him..

Caregivers are worn-out people. Both us and our loved ones are sleep deprived as the dementia will not allow them to sleep much and that put us, the caregiver, where we have to watch our loved ones ALL the time — 24/7.

I write this hoping I will reach someone to let them know you are not alone. There are people to talk to like me. Talking is very  important but to find someone who really understands is always the problem. People will say they understand what we are going through but in reality they have no clue what we face all the time. 

I offer you my prayers and want you to know that God and prayers are where our hope lies all the time.

I hope you will find a good Alzheimer`s support group. There you will find real people who know exactly what you go through all the time. People you can talk to and cry with. Its okay to cry; we need this many times. 

I am here for you if you want to email me or call me. Email me first and we will talk about talking on the phone. If you are interested in my offer to listen to you or pray with you please contact me.

There are support groups near you. Please take yourself to one. You will be amazed how the group will help you.

Until next time,

Mary

Pump Head: It Happened to Me After My 4 bypass Heart Surgery

I want to write about this "pump head". This is what the heart surgeons call it. It happened to me after my 4 bypass heart surgery. As I sit here this morning quivering inside my body and my mind racing as it most always does I want to write more about this.

I have found that doctors and pharmacist have not heard about this. I am finding doctors and pharmacists are interested in what I am telling them about what I am going through after the heart surgery.

They tell me they are sorry I am going through this but they have no answers as what to do about it. It seems all who have had this happen to them (us) are just here with no answers yet we still face this daily. 

As a Christian I trust God with every heart beat. It has been and will be God that gets me through all this. Even if I have to go through the rest of my life living with this "pump head thing" I can and will trust God. As God knows the outcome of each of us we can turn to God asking his help.

God has told us to keep seeking, keep knocking and to keep asking. 

Right now my mind wants to go blank as I try to remember Scripture or to remember other things. This is part of the after heart surgery that we face. When I say we I mean all who face this after heart surgery. 

I am so compulsive it's hard to get through a day. Things I never went through are here and seem to worsen each day. I want to do things like clean house, go visit people, etc. But to be around most people . . .  I can not stand to be around them. Because they talk loud or they want to go on and on about things that do not matter. 

Its so hard to explain unless you are going through this. I want to tell people about this pump head but they look at me like I am crazy. This is because they have no clue what I am going through.

I am grateful that  I am not going through a disease like cancer. But this brain thing is over whelming as I do not know what to do from second to second.

At the end of every day I can thank God for getting me through this as I know I had nothing to do with my getting through each 24/7 day. I pray asking God`s help and it is God that sends me his help and I know it is God and prayers of other believers that help me.

I know another lady, Cathy, who faces this also. She has had many surgeries and she told me she knows she is going through this also. So its not just heart surgery that might cause this. Any time  your brain is damaged from after surgeries you will face this with your brain being damaged.

Pray for all people who are facing this brain thing that we can do nothing about.

If you had any surgery where you were under for hours you probably have a brain injury also. Trust God. He is our answer.

Praise you Jehovah Rophe the Lord that heals us.

Mary

I Have Had a Thobbing Head Most of the Day

I have had a throbbing head most all day which is part of the pump head I go through daily. I sat in my chair and tried to relax and sleep. That did not happen. With my body shaking, I got up and tried to drive and do a couple of errands. That was very hard for me. Before all this pump head I could do most anything but not so much any more.

I am worn out most of the time from little sleep every night. This is also part of the pump head syndrome. I have anxiety, insomnia, irritability, headache, nervousness, tremor,and weakness. I hate the word depression as it make people think you are crazy and I am not crazy.

I am searching for natural alternatives or natural solutions to help. If any one knows of any thing that might help please let me know so I can check into it.

I know God can heal this as ALL things are possible with God. It must be God`s will and I pray God`s will be done.

I will probably write daily as what is going on in my body. The racing mind is also a big part of this pump head thing.

I have shared this with many people and no one has heard about it so its going to be interesting to hear from people who are going through this.

Please IF you have this pump head syndrome please lets talk and lets get the information out to millions of people who NEED to know about this thing.

Until next writing take care and pray.

Mary

Pump Head Syndrome

I write about this called Pump Head which occurs after heart surgery. I knew right after my 4 bypass surgery there was something wrong with me.  My personality had changed and my daughter who knows me very well noticed this. Kelly, the daughter, said "it is like someone took my mother`s soul out of her and put something else in her".

Now Kelly does not know the Lord Jesus as I do so I know no one took my soul out of me. My soul belongs to God only. But there were and are today many changes in me:  physical, mental and emotional changes.

My four bypass heart surgery happened November 10, 2012.  This happened over three years ago and I am still going through these changes. Unless you have gone through heart surgery you will not understand what I am talking about.

There are millions of people who have gone through heart surgery and they know there is something wrong with them.  Let me tell you first you are not crazy there is a problem and you need to know what it probably is.

A friend out of concern for me did research and found this name, "pump head syndrome," for me. I thought I was going crazy but praise God I am not crazy. Do your own research at least you have a name now as I do. I always called this "the thing" not having a name for it.

There is a web site you can start with www.healingwell.com. Type in "pump head" and see what comes up. PLEASE check this out for your own good.

I pray for people who face this everyday of their and me life. I will write more from time to time about this. So perhaps we can share with each other about this.

Keep checking for more news and I will check for your remarks.

We were not told about this before our surgeries. Why??

Until next time.

Mary