Monday, March 14, 2016

Dementia: The Thief That Robs the Mind

"Do you ever try to remember something and you can not?" My husband Jim asked me this question today.  I knew it was more than just a normal memory loss moment.  Over the last year Jim has asked me this question more than once.

Jim told me this a few times, " I know there is something wrong with me." I saw the fear in his eyes and watched  the expression on his face as he thought about this. Jim knew something was wrong but did not know what it was.

I have began to know the questions Jim would ask as he could not remember many times something that would be important to talk about but could not remember at all where he wanted to go with the conversation.

Its more than "just a memory loss." Its' called Dementia or Alzheimer`s a thief that robs one of the memories or thoughts they are trying so hard to express. Jim was a very bright man who worked a job where much responsibility was needed. Jim loved his job and did it very well. 

I started watching Jim`s memory being tested a few years ago as he would lose directions when traveling. Jim  always had perfect sense of direction. He would also misplace things more and more often. All clues as to what we face today but at that time not knowing it was dementia progressing. 

When you or someone you know is having memory problems DO NOT IGNORE this as "Oh, it's just a senior moment OR just a memory loss moment."

Today, as I watched Jim sleeping in his chair at the Oklahoma VA Alzheimer`s section, I cried. I thanked God that I was in the same room with my Jim. How I miss Jim and he misses me so much. 

I thought about the times we were together at home and the precious times we had together over the past almost 34 years. I thought about Jim never coming home again and us never living as husband and wife again. Many thought crossed my mind today. This has happened many times since Jim was admitted to the Alzheimer`s section at the VA. I would lie across the foot of Jim`s bed knowing he would sleep in his chair if he could see me there with him..

Caregivers are worn-out people. Both us and our loved ones are sleep deprived as the dementia will not allow them to sleep much and that put us, the caregiver, where we have to watch our loved ones ALL the time 24/7.

I write this hoping I will reach someone to let them know you are not alone. There are people to talk to like me. Talking is very  important but to find someone who really understands is always the problem. People will say they understand what we are going through but in reality they have no clue what we face all the time. 

I offer you my prayers and want you to know that God and prayers are where our hope lies all the time.

I hope you will find a good Alzheimer`s support group. There you will find real people who know exactly what you go through all the time. People you can talk to and cry with. Its okay to cry; we need this many times. 

I am here for you if you want to email me or call me. Email me first and we will talk about talking on the phone. If you are interested in my offer to listen to you or pray with you please contact me.

There are support groups near you. Please take yourself to one. You will be amazed how the group will help you.

Until next time,


Friday, February 5, 2016

Pump Head: It Happened to Me After My 4 bypass Heart Surgery

I want to write about this "pump head". This is what the heart surgeons call it. It happened to me after my 4 bypass heart surgery. As I sit here this morning quivering inside my body and my mind racing as it most always does I want to write more about this.

I have found that doctors and pharmacist have not heard about this. I am finding doctors and pharmacists are interested in what I am telling them about what I am going through after the heart surgery.

They tell me they are sorry I am going through this but they have no answers as what to do about it. It seems all who have had this happen to them (us) are just here with no answers yet we still face this daily. 

As a Christian I trust God with every heart beat. It has been and will be God that gets me through all this. Even if I have to go through the rest of my life living with this "pump head thing" I can and will trust God. As God knows the outcome of each of us we can turn to God asking his help.

God has told us to keep seeking, keep knocking and to keep asking. 

Right now my mind wants to go blank as I try to remember Scripture or to remember other things. This is part of the after heart surgery that we face. When I say we I mean all who face this after heart surgery. 

I am so compulsive it's hard to get through a day. Things I never went through are here and seem to worsen each day. I want to do things like clean house, go visit people, etc. But to be around most people . . .  I can not stand to be around them. Because they talk loud or they want to go on and on about things that do not matter. 

Its so hard to explain unless you are going through this. I want to tell people about this pump head but they look at me like I am crazy. This is because they have no clue what I am going through.

I am grateful that  I am not going through a disease like cancer. But this brain thing is over whelming as I do not know what to do from second to second.

At the end of every day I can thank God for getting me through this as I know I had nothing to do with my getting through each 24/7 day. I pray asking God`s help and it is God that sends me his help and I know it is God and prayers of other believers that help me.

I know another lady, Cathy, who faces this also. She has had many surgeries and she told me she knows she is going through this also. So its not just heart surgery that might cause this. Any time  your brain is damaged from after surgeries you will face this with your brain being damaged.

Pray for all people who are facing this brain thing that we can do nothing about.

If you had any surgery where you were under for hours you probably have a brain injury also. Trust God. He is our answer.

Praise you Jehovah Rophe the Lord that heals us.


Saturday, January 9, 2016

I Have Had a Thobbing Head Most of the Day

I have had a throbbing head most all day which is part of the pump head I go through daily. I sat in my chair and tried to relax and sleep. That did not happen. With my body shaking, I got up and tried to drive and do a couple of errands. That was very hard for me. Before all this pump head I could do most anything but not so much any more.

I am worn out most of the time from little sleep every night. This is also part of the pump head syndrome. I have anxiety, insomnia, irritability, headache, nervousness, tremor,and weakness. I hate the word depression as it make people think you are crazy and I am not crazy.

I am searching for natural alternatives or natural solutions to help. If any one knows of any thing that might help please let me know so I can check into it.

I know God can heal this as ALL things are possible with God. It must be God`s will and I pray God`s will be done.

I will probably write daily as what is going on in my body. The racing mind is also a big part of this pump head thing.

I have shared this with many people and no one has heard about it so its going to be interesting to hear from people who are going through this.

Please IF you have this pump head syndrome please lets talk and lets get the information out to millions of people who NEED to know about this thing.

Until next writing take care and pray.


Friday, January 8, 2016

Pump Head Syndrome

I write about this called Pump Head which occurs after heart surgery. I knew right after my 4 bypass surgery there was something wrong with me.  My personality had changed and my daughter who knows me very well noticed this. Kelly, the daughter, said "it is like someone took my mother`s soul out of her and put something else in her".

Now Kelly does not know the Lord Jesus as I do so I know no one took my soul out of me. My soul belongs to God only. But there were and are today many changes in me:  physical, mental and emotional changes.

My four bypass heart surgery happened November 10, 2012.  This happened over three years ago and I am still going through these changes. Unless you have gone through heart surgery you will not understand what I am talking about.

There are millions of people who have gone through heart surgery and they know there is something wrong with them.  Let me tell you first you are not crazy there is a problem and you need to know what it probably is.

A friend out of concern for me did research and found this name, "pump head syndrome," for me. I thought I was going crazy but praise God I am not crazy. Do your own research at least you have a name now as I do. I always called this "the thing" not having a name for it.

There is a web site you can start with Type in "pump head" and see what comes up. PLEASE check this out for your own good.

I pray for people who face this everyday of their and me life. I will write more from time to time about this. So perhaps we can share with each other about this.

Keep checking for more news and I will check for your remarks.

We were not told about this before our surgeries. Why??

Until next time.


Friday, November 1, 2013

Turn to God Before Its Too Late

Today was a hard thing as my daughter came over to tell me the price of her prescription had tripled.
She does not have money to pay for this huge increase. Every time she needs a prescription she will have to go to a doctor to get the refill.  No more prescriptions with refills. Another way to drain people of what little money they have.

People will have to choose between food and prescriptions or what ever they need to get by. This has been going on for a long time.

Millions of people world wide are facing the same problems. No money for food and clothes. No money to pay utilities. No jobs and the list goes on and on.

America is not a nation under God and the price is showing up as America is brought to her knees.
People do not want top give up their sins and turn to God for His help for His guidness.

When one trys to explain that the Word of God will be fulfilled they laugh at you or think you are crazy.  They do not know God and this is so sad. Many say they do not believe in God. God says the fool says there is no God.

We have a long way to go in this world before we all are in the same boat.  America will become like a third world country very soon. We have watched this coming for many years.

My prayer is people will turn to God for His help and ask God to guide them through all the hardship that lies ahead.

Salvation from God is your only hope.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Prayer Is An Answer

Today I am thinking more and more about prayer to our God, Jehovah Who is Jesus.
I see so many who are sick, who need jobs, who need food and a place to lay their head.

Times are really getting bad but then how will God`s word be fulfilled if these things do not happen?
Its true that for thousands of years people have thought their time was the end of time. But never before has more of God`s word been more fulfilled than in past times.

We, the Believers, who know their bible see prophecy being fulfilled more and more every day.
We are told the whole world will be filled with violence and every thought evil continually. We are seeing more of these things take place every day as we watch the news.

Evil is every where. It has gotten to the place where there is no decent thing to watch on TV. So why have a TV in our home? We are told that we will set nothing evil before our eyes yet we do every time we turn the TV on. I am as guilty as anyone is and it bothers me so much that I am ready to get rid of cable or any other source that brings in this evil violence.

Peace of mind does not include TV or a movie to watch at any mall or even on a DVD.  I see and hear more about how people are fed up with the violence and sex just pure evil things which are most every where.

People are asking where they can find a church that preaches and teaches 100% pure Gospel. I have no answer to that question. The false churches are every where. That too is fulfilling the word of God
that in the last days there will be no where to go to hear the true word of God.

I am asking brothers and Sisters in the Lord to agree with me in prayer asking for the salvation and healing of our dear loved ones and friends and neighbors. Time is shorter today for many who will die before their time as they use drugs and other ways to shorten their life's.

How sad that hundreds of millions will die unsaved but again how will the word of God be fulfilled if this does not happen?  God will give you a chance to be saved. Its your choice. Please think about where you want to spend all eternity. There is only two places. Heaven or hell. All eternity is time with no end and to spend all eternity in hell is mind blowing to me.

Ask God to forgive your sins and turn from your evil ways. Ask God to guide and direct your paths to show you His way to live. Its not hard you just follow God`s word. To live in sin is hard and most people find it appealing until its too late.

THINK while you have time and make the right choice.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

God does not give the spirit of fear.

It has been a long time since I wrote on my blog. Lots of health problems have come since almost a year ago.
My husband had aneurysm repair then about four months later I had four bypass heart surgery.

After that my husband had bladder problems. The nurse at the hospital missed the bladder when she tried to put a catheter in. The catheter went into the urethra and problems started. He was finally taken by ambulance to Lawton Ok. to a larger hospital for our hospital finally decided they could do nothing for my husband.

It was a horrible experience for Jim as well as for me. The stress from all this caused me to begin a long road of anxiouity. I have not been the same since.

For any one who experiences anxiety you know it`s a evil thing to try to deal with. Knowing God is the only way that has gotten me to this day. Prayer and scripture which I stand on is all that has kept me sane.

I have had people tell me, "you do not look sick". What does that mean? Just because one looks good does not mean they are not going through major problems.

Unless one is going through this they have no clue what that person is going through. I hate to use the word mental but your mind races so fast that it has to be mental. What else would cause the anxious feeling?

I write about this now and will write about it more later hoping that someone will read this and reach out for someone who understands to talk to them.

Not everyone that goes through surgery experiences anxiety. My surgery added to mine although the surgeon said it did not cause it.
I agree several things started and added to the anxiety but the surgery also added to it.

I pray that if any one reads this and can relate to it please ask God to help you. Talk to some one who is going through it. Remember people will not understand unless they themselves or know someone who they see everyday go through it.

God has been and is my answer. I pray in His time and if it`s His will he will heal millions from this evil thing.

I call it evil because it is. Anxiety brings worry and fear and God told us He does not want us to worry or to be anxious about anything. He does not give us the spirit of fear. So trust God and ask God to increase our trust in Him.

Secure In Christ,